Labor Pains

Not long ago, as we were riding in the car, Peyton asks, "Mom, will you be there for me when I go into labor?" Huh? Did I hear her right? Does she mean "labor union" or did she actually mean "labor", labor? What kind of question is this from a seven year old child? "Of course I will Peyton. But why are you worried about this now?" "I'm just thinking about it and I'm pretty sure I will want my mom there." Okay...... I let her know I was pretty sure her husband will want to be there as well. That didn't seem to concern her as much as having her mommy in the delivery room. Did she somehow know the details of labor and delivery? The pain and the agony that descends upon you like the darkness before the dawn? The overwhelming urge to cuss like a pirate and swear never to allow your husband to touch you again?? Did she somehow know all this???? Actually, after further questioning, I learned she was actually more concerned with me being there so I can watch the baby while she's "busy". I didn't ask what she thought she'd be busy doing...... This obsession with labor, delivery, and general child rearing has gone on for about six months now. Her baby dolls are constantly by her side and she seems to enjoy dealing with the constant barrage of illness and discipline problems they cause her. I knew that all of this would eventually lead to the inevitable question:  Why can't MOM have another baby?? When she finally brought it up, I simply explained that I was old and tired and that it wouldn't be happening. Sorry. She thought a minute and then asked me why I couldn't just run down to the "shelter" and pick her up a brother? I guess in her mind adopting a child is like going to the pound for a puppy? I imagine she would also want it to have all it's shots and have some kind of guarantee as well. Little does she know that she can't barricade a real baby in a laundry basket while she's at school all day so the cat doesn't nibble on its hands and feet nor can she leave them wrapped in sweatshirts on the foot of her bed while she watches TV. Although, I think I read somewhere that's what "Octomom" does......

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